What is the black man's worth to its community...in particular to its women and children?

[Ross]

About 4 days ago, a yound lady told me black, american men are worthless. I'm very hard to offend but this may have been one of the first things that really provoked some type of anger from me. Being a black man myself, who values all of my black women, attempting to do my best, which is all anyone really can do, and working to alter the views about black men in the community-- i felt insulted. HU men and women alike- add your views to this discussion!!!

[Ross]

Also, being from a HBCU shouldn't make one seperate his or herself from white america. I have many friendships across the board, and i value those relationships because they always bring great insight. An older white man told me the other day that his mom jokingly-- seriously, told her black friend (i don't know how to stress the fact that these ppl are good ppl and aren't prejudice but...) that she would not date a black man in the atlanta metro. area because too many of them were/ are "DL" brothers. This is what other cultures think of the black man right now!!! I can tell you for a fact this one right here... this one right here... is not DL!!

[Bobby Johnson]

Ive had enough of this ish!!! i guess those who comment against the Black Man have had their own personal encounters. But please dont comment as a whole. I take pride in me and i will continue to take pride in every Black Man in America. Yes we have our down times. What we dont want or need is for our own women or own people to come down on us. Help lift us up

[Ross]

i spoke to an older black woman last night about this very same question-- and she brought a whole new light to the situation that i never thought of. she told me that i can only do the best i can do for me but i must realize that everything is a two way road. black men right now are stigmatized as chreapers, cheaters, "worthless', and "DL" brothers but being in the mist of all these labels, i have failed to see what i have to deal with out of the black women of my community. LOL- she said it's shameful but we have to be worried about our black women being lesbians, bisexuals, and overly aggressive- which is the stigma a lot of black women are getting now. The stigma that are attached here are more acceptable in society-- seeing that its politically incorrect to discriminate or even mention opposition to alternative life styles. what do you think are the labels facing our black women today and r they just as destructive to black women as labels are to black men?

[Alexandra]

First of all to you black men, I have to say this as a Beautiful,Fine Black Women. you men do not worry,worrying is a sin. you as a human being need to create yourself, who do you want to be?, what do you want in life? It's not so much about Black, it's how you carry yourself as a black men. Look at WHITE MEN and WHITE WOMEN they are no better i would rather hug a black sweaty men that stinks, than a white men. Think about that. Just value yourself! Don't try to satisfy others wishes for you. On a real tip that was no reason for you to get upset at, it was all ignorance.

[Hazel]

I think alot of black youth in general have that "gimme" attitude. I noticed it alot in my high school. And theres always a higher percentage of male's slacking then females, but there are always exceptions. Alot of people either have too many bad experiences or they're just too lazy and too easily influenced to come up with their own opinion. They give in to the hype around them instead of looking for the truth. All you can do is prove yourself to yourself and not let those doubters stop you from doing your best. Not all of us think all black guys are bad.

[Ross]

i spoke to an older black woman last night about this very same question-- and she brought a whole new light to the situation that i never thought of. she told me that i can only do the best i can do for me but i must realize that everything is a two way road. black men right now are stigmatized as chreapers, cheaters, "worthless', and "DL" brothers but being in the mist of all these labels, i have failed to see what i have to deal with out of the black women of my community. LOL- she said it's shameful but we have to be worried about our black women being lesbians, bisexuals, and overly aggressive- which is the stigma a lot of black women are getting now. The stigma that are attached here are more acceptable in society-- seeing that its politically incorrect to discriminate or even mention opposition to alternative life styles. what do you think are the labels facing our black women today and r they just as destructive to black women as labels are to black men? what do you think of her comment?

[Marquis H. Barnett]

What's up everyone!? Well it was interesting to run across this discussion because I, too, was having this conversation the other day. We all have to wake up and face the fact that all of those "stereotypes" spawn from some truth. For so long, Black men were dead-beat fathers, low life, drug-dealing, sometimes "DL", rude, crass a**holes.

Now, however, there is this new generation of men who have it together and are trying to undo such a long history of negative images of the BLACK MAN. But we can't do this overnight, guys. See, the deal is that this generation of BLACK MEN may never see the fruits of our labor. But we have to trust that if we raise our sons to be good BLACK MEN just that the good BLACK MEN that we are, then we will have served our purpose. Maybe not in this decade, and maybe not in the next, but eventually, we, as a generation, will have changed the view of the BLACK MAN all because we decided to be brave enough to change.

Our generation of BLACK MEN will have to make sure that we serve as the mentors to the YOUNG BLACK MEN that are coming up behind us. Because so many of them are growing up without fathers. And yes, that is harmful. But if they have a positive BLACK MAN to look up to, A BLACK MAN in their life who went to college and is doing well for himself, and takes the time to try and steer another young BROTHER in that direction, then that in-and-of-itself has the POWER to change a YOUNG BLACK MAN into a STRONG, INTELLECTUAL, SPIRITUAL BLACK MAN!

[Blaze1]

Sounds like she was trying to convince herself more than you. I wouldn't worry about it. When people go that extreme with prejudice, eventually it fizzles...usually after they come across someone with the patience to let them vent. Personally, I'm typically not that person, and don't recommend that anyone else play the doormat either. I can't count how many men and women I've met at HU who angrily try to give up on entire groups of black people to make themselves feel better. Not surprisingly, I've never seen it work. The lucky ones figure that out early, while others let it emotionally poison them for way too long.

To answer your question, I believe someone's "worth" to the community is something they have to determine for themselves, and then prove through actions. The collective worth of black men is obvious, considering all the problems in our community that have come from too many black men not taking care of business. The Malcolm X's and Barack Obamas of the world have shown a glimpse of what we can do. We need to keep pushing ourselves in a similar direction.

[Alexandra]

FUCK THAT BITCH!!(EXCUSE MY VOCAB)

[Michelle Alexander]

Being about to turn the big 5-0, despite my being divorced I am still blessed to find wonderful, successful, intelligent, motivated Black men who are good fathers, husbands, friends and leaders. It's really a matter of values. I think that we as a community have missed the value of marriage. We understand, sex and procreation and partying, but married couples qualify for mortgages more than unmarried couples or singles. Real estate ownership is the building block to wealth in this country. I have noticed that even when Hispanics father and have children at a young age, the parents make them get married and within 2-5 years their families and community has helped them buy something. We on the other hand, have kids, DOn't get married and end up in apts with no home equity or anything to show for our money. I am thrilled by the example set by the OBamas. I hope that our young people will look to their relationship and marriage to see that marriage is a good thing and the ability to commit is a sign of maturity. I would hope that our children are not having sex in middle school, something is wrong when you have sex that young, even as experimentation. Young people need to wait until they have the emotional and spiritual maturity to handle relationships. I can see college, but keep your focus on your education. But I love Black men, if I remarry it will be a Black or biracial Black man. We have traveled this road too long together for me to throw my partner who has endured the hell of slavery, reconstruction and civil rights with me aside. But children you have to continue by being willing to do what all the other groups do that make their communities survivive.

[Jimmie Leon Gray]

Jimmie L. Gray 1975
Life for men period is difficult with how the Family Cout System has evolved.
Family Life has become a ward of the courts, with men becoming non-custodial, adsentee parent,restrained, and pushed way-back.
We created Fatherhood Assistance, Lifestyle & Legal Services, Inc. (FALLS),as a prevention and educational Faith-Based non-profit service provider to affect the worth of black american men. Action not talk!